Getting Them Sober: Vol 4 : Separations and Healings
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Getting Them Sober: Vol 4 : Separations and Healings
If you're in the process of separating// getting a divorce ----- OR thinking about it ----- this book describes the usually-not-spoken-about HIDDEN issues that the non-alcoholic spouse is confronted with--- when going through this with an alcoholic.
Chapters titles include ----
* Everybody blames the family * Don't try to make sense out of their nonsense * Knowing that it's hard to lose an alcoholic, helps us to calm down and keep us on the recovery path * The irregular behavior of the alcoholic keeps us attached * The alcoholic does not exist separately from the alcoholism * Excited misery keeps us attached to the alcoholic * Our need to caretake keeps us attached to the alcoholic * Facing our illusions ends their power to hurt us * Quick ways to detach * "I had to stop 'being so strong' so I could get the help I needed" * Remember the facts * It's YOUR decision whether or not to separate---- it's not your counselor's decision * Perfectionism * Courage to change the things we can * "I was able to decide to leave, even though he was sober and I was physically ill" * Share your story with discretion * What are examples of crazymaking that counselors should inherently know in order for us to trust their advice-giving? * "How counseling helped me decide" * "But he looks so good since we're separated. Maybe he's not an alcoholic?" * "But he's drinking less since we're separated. Can he be getting better?" * "I can't stop being angry with him!" * "When I see my alcoholic husband and he's nice to me, I get upset!" * "I can't forgive him" * "My denial, my compassion, and my guilt pulled me down into it with him, again" * "I've dropped the divorce proceedings six times, now" * "I feel guilty because I think I didn't do enough to make him want to be sober" * "I left a sober alcoholic" * "If I give up obsession, do I have to give up hope?" * "How can I help him after we're separated?" * What are the real problems about dating again? * Answering your legal questions about alcoholism, divorce, children, and court-ordered evaluations * Intervention
TOBY DREWS' OTHER BOOKS---------
"Getting Them Sober, volume one" ----------- Hundreds of practical and effective suggestions for sobriety and recovery. With over a million copies sold, largely by word-of-mouth----- this book is endorsed by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, by 'dear Abby' (who said ''this book should be read by everyone''), and by Melody Beattie (author of Codependent No More) -- who said "'Getting Them Sober' is the BEST book for the family of the still-drinking alcoholic.''
Other books in this award-winning series are -------- "Getting Them Sober, volume 2" (more on total family healing) "Getting Them Sober, volume 3'' (half the book details the 350 secondary diseases // disorders to alcoholism) "Getting Your Children Sober" (for parents of children ages 9 to 59 who have addiction problems) "Sex & the Sober Alcoholic" "Get Rid of Anxiety and Stress'' "Getting Them Sober Action Guide''
ABOUT THE AUTHOR ----
Toby Rice Drews trains counselors, writes, and offers phone consultations for family members. Her AOL-lauded website --- www.GettingThemSober.com ---- is chock-full of help for families of alcoholics and addicts. Toby Drews can be contacted at [email protected]
